SPEAKER_03 0:00

So you're thinking about running, but not sure how to take the first step? My name is Brian Patterson, and I'm here to help. Welcome to Brian's ROM pod. Welcome back to Friars Fun Pod, and it's me, your host, Brian Patterson, on some more hints and tips about running. Well, this week is the second part of my chat with Julie Feldman. And now this has been a bit of a departure for my regular guests. And this is where we talk about mind, body, and spirit, and have some of her, and we'll talk about some of her techniques to enhance the running experience. Now I begin this week's episode about asking her about gratitude and intention. So without further ado, let's begin part two of this episode. As ever, if you haven't heard part one, then please do go back in the library and grab that episode. Now I know I've got here gratitude and intention, because I know it's something that you talk about on your on your Instagram. Could you sort of elaborate that for me?

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Gratitude and intention, yeah. I think that gratitude is how we should start our day. It's finding even the small things in the darkness, right? Yeah. And really the darkness is just absence of light. So if we want to get down to again, science and color, it's dark, like black is the absence of color and light. But it's a resting time. So it's a time where if you think of like the earth and planting a seed, that's all dark, but there's a seed. So it's finding the seed in your life, finding something that can grow into something where there's life. And I think that's the essence of gratitude, honestly. Whether it's just having sheets on your bed that are soft, like you start there, or food in the refrigerator, or a warm house, or even if your kids are driving you nuts, they get to drive you nuts. You get to hear their chatter, you know. Yes. So it's the and again. It's the and it's like they may be jerks right now. And I get to hear them in my house. And isn't that nice?

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Yes, yes. Yeah, being a parent as well, it's nice.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Right. It is nice. It's difficult, and it's nice. I do think that. So, yes, gratitude, period. And then we work into intentions of like, how do I, how do I feel? How do I want to see myself? Am I, do I feel enough? Do I feel worthy? Um, your intentions will be different depending on your path. And for me, I started with intentions because I started actually with more macro intentions, like more desires, right? I want to accomplish this or I want to bring this into my life. Those are intentions. But then as I started to do a little more introspection and a little more self-work, it's like, well, why does it be like goal goal setting? Is it very much sort of it is like goal setting? But I think the difference is it's a difference between goals are sort of desires, right? So we can look into intentions as desires.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

But if you get sort of micro, why do we want those desires? Yeah. How do you like, do you feel worthy of them at the end of the day? Are you, do you feel enough? Do you feel love? Are you love? Do you feel wise? Do you feel protected? So it's like these smaller micro things are actually the building blocks to getting the desires. So I don't know if that makes sense, but if you don't have worth or you feel enough, or you feel loved, then it's hard to grow and maintain the goal because you're gonna be always searching for kind of those three basic things. So it's good to take it back and have the intention of I am enough as you as you're at the gym, as you walk, as whatever you do for exercise. Am I an I am enough? Okay, I am enough. And what is that? And I always like to teach people, what does enough feel like? Or what does worthy feel like, or what does love feel like? Like, what is the color of it? What is the smell of it? Like get your senses in there so that you can really embody that intention. So let's say your intention is like, I want to run every day. That's I would say that that's a little bit more of a goal, but like I want to feel peace every day.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

What does peace feel like? Maybe it does feel like running, and then start attaching all your senses to it. What is when I run, what does that smell like? Like all the things. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_03 5:41

Yeah. Um, I mean, I can see to a certain extent that sometimes whenever I'm going out running, sometimes I'm ra I'm kind of chasing that endorphin rush, that feeling that it's not the so much the endorphin rush, because I know you everyone feels that, but that a time when you're running where you feel totally at peace uh with me. And I know that may be something that you the more you run, the the fitter you are, and that and that kind of thing. And I know sometimes they say that the first 10, 15 minutes of you running, your heart rate's elevated and you find it quite but to go at a point where you feel it is very easy. It's like I say to people that um we have a university right near here, um, it's called St. Mary's, which is in Twickenham, and you get the Kenyan runners there. But when you watch them run, I just I just gore up because it's like they're floating. It's like their feet are tricky. I know they are floating, and it's like their feet. But you kind of uh in a way, and I don't know if I'm making sense as well, but it's your every now and again you get that that moment where your kind of mind and body and your breathing is it's kind of at one and you feel you could go on forever, and you feel it's very um yeah, uh and sometimes maybe I you you feel I sometimes I feel I'm chasing that, but other times because other times it might be, no, I mean I haven't been running for a while, you know, and I may be running for three kilometers or two miles, and it just feels it, I just feel horrendous. Whereas other times it feels okay. But it I I think I think that's what you try, I'm trying to get what you mean to a certain extent.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Um I I think that I'm not sure, but I would say that when you're in a flow state, right? You're everything, so you're feeling peace, really. And if you take that down, that's your intention.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

You just want it like feel peace. And when everything's in flow and your mind and body and breath are working and your mind isn't moving over time in another area, you are. That is sounds like that is your peace. And that is your intention.

SPEAKER_03 8:19

Because like I said at the beginning, you know, ever since I was at school, exercise has been a very important part of my life. Um, I haven't always, I know I did basketball at school because I had a very good coach at school who was very good at couraging us. But it whatever sport I was doing, exercise has been always has been very important my life because of the fact that I had, you know, the the epilepsy. And I think that helped me in a way to get through it.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Absolutely. I think, yeah, it's uh a great tool.

SPEAKER_03 8:58

Um but moving on to creating habits. Sometimes people can find that quite hard to sustain, let's say if they want to move to start a ra a regime. What do you feel are kind of the tools that people can can take on themselves to help them um sustain a particular habit?

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Yeah, I mean, habits, it takes at least 30 days to form a habit. So for some people, that feels like nothing, and others it feels like a lot. I've seen people create really high expectations for themselves, whether it's exercise or diet. I'm not eating any sugar, I'm dropping everything.

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

The extremes don't always work to create habits because the reward, the reward is so far down the road. So what creates a pattern is like repetition reward. So you're in this cycle, it's been studied. There's a great book all about patterns and mindset, but it there's always the reward. So even if you look at like a someone who gambles, yeah. Habit, and then there's a reward of like getting even a coin, and then you wait for the then you they do the habit again or the the task again, and then you get a reward. So it's very cyclical.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:38

So to begin, to begin something, you're going to have to give yourself a reward. And if you're not able to get to that place where you feel so good, like having a no sugar for a month, that reward you're not gonna feel right away. It's gonna take you a while to if you're going to lose the weight, right? But for if you're on a run, it's getting through those first 10 minutes, maybe, maybe 15, maybe 20 to get your reward. So how can you create that pattern? Maybe it's for to get to the reward. I'm gonna walk for five, run for five, walk for five, run for five. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think everyone needs everyone's body is different. So you're gonna have to know where you feel like the reward. For me, stepping outside, being inside is gonna be really hard to go outside. Maybe it's raining outside, maybe it's cold outside. That's the hardest part of your journey. And when you get outside and you start feeling the air and you your brain starts to relax, that's the reward right there. So, how can I get there? Maybe I just have to tell myself inside that I'm gonna go for a 20-minute walk. Maybe that's how I get outside. And maybe when I'm outside, I tell my brain, okay, I'm gonna go for five minutes, five minutes of that walk, I'm gonna run. Or maybe two blocks I'm gonna run, and two blocks I'm gonna walk. But you're getting that reward because that's building. It's building your resilience, it's building the pattern, and it's building the habit. So I think that you've got to train yourself to not set these crazy expectations, but start small and build and stay consistent.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

And that's how I think that's but to have reward at the same time, you know, at a sort of yeah. And that would kind of help. Um, and you say that about 30 days that helps would help kind of to a certain extent cement that routine.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Yeah, absolutely. And it's it's you're creating new neural pathways. So your brain has pathways that it travels um that tell your tell your body and your mind things, right? It's like a road that you run every or you drive every day. Well, if you wanna, and that maybe that is just I take my car to work every day and I come home. That's my pattern. That's what I do. Now I want to run when I get home or before I go, well, that's gonna take a new, you're gonna have to build a new road. That is a little bit of work, but maybe you can like, maybe there's a soda stand on the side of the road. Like maybe you put like little rewards in, not soda, but like the reward is truly like getting that fresh air and stepping into that piece of just not sitting at your desk or not being in your car. And that that takes time. And so you're really you're training your brain to build a new road. And once that road is built, it's an easy pattern to continue.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

What about, let's say, for instance, I've been running for a number of years, maybe not consistently all the time, but then I've kind of hit a lull. I'm not feeling motivated, I'm feeling tired at work. Normally I go to the gym at work or something like that. But I just can't I can't be bothered, sort of thing. Is there a way of breaking that habit, as it were, so that you're you've taken a rest? Okay, I used to I would have gone to the gym two or three times or run runs two or three times, especially like in the winter period, it can be quite tough. Um so are there any, you know, tricks or tools that can help get you back on that road again? Or is it a case to give yourself license to rest, as it were?

SPEAKER_00 15:09

No, it's a great question. I mean, it goes back to listening to your body. I think that we maybe don't have like winter is a time to hibernate. So maybe you don't push as hard. Maybe you're burnt out for a reason. Maybe it is time to nurture and to care and to hybrid, like hibernate the body. But that doesn't mean shutting everything down. So that might mean finding, finding a new way of getting fit or staying fit or having an exercise routine. Maybe that looks different. Maybe you have, maybe you break up and do it in the middle of the day, 20-minute walk in the middle of your day. Lower, maybe you need to lower your expectations just to get that habit again. And so maybe you you um connect with a buddy. Like that is the best, or a class, like driving yourself on your own is is hard or it can be hard. Sometimes it's the best. Sometimes all I want to do is exercise on my own. But when I when I'm in that lull, I find a friend or look up on look up in my, you know, some app or phone, like what are the nearest classes and just retake that. Start with exploring different classes till something hits.

SPEAKER_03 16:41

Yes. Yeah. Because you can always go back to it, as it were.

SPEAKER_00 16:45

So exactly. You can always go back to running. Your body knows how to run. Actually, this is crazy. I it kind of relates a bit. I skied growing up, haven't skied in eight years because of kids. And I had a lot of fear getting back on the mountain. Like, would my body remember how to do it? Would I be fit enough? Would I hurt myself? Didn't understand that I could do it at all. Would I fall off the chairlift? That was like another one that like went through my head. And this past weekend, I connected with friends. Yeah. And we went skiing.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

Yeah. You didn't do a Lindsay Vaughn then.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

I didn't do a Lindsay Vaughn. That is like, she is like the perfect example of pushing too hard. That is a whole other discussion. And gosh, I wish her the best recovery. I mean, what an athlete.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

But yeah, I was able to get off the chairlift without knocking five people down. And yeah, and it was, it was so rewarding to know that my body remembered. And at the end of the day, that reward was like, I was filled with laughter and friendship and exercise and just that like peace that you get from skiing for me. So yeah, I think that's a good example of really getting getting back into it after a long, a long time. You can you can do it. And you've got to just recruit the right tools.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

I can't believe that we've been talking for nearly 50 minutes, but it's it's been great. So but I do want to talk about your website, which is orenda.us, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 18:38

So what made you decide to start the website, you know, in this organization?

SPEAKER_00 18:44

Yeah, I it really started in a yoga class because I was sweating and working out really hard. And I got to this moment where I felt like I had released, I had exhaled, I'd sweat out all the anxiety and the fast-paced metric of my day. And I was like, but when I release all this, what is there to like, what words can I fill myself back up with? What words, because when we release something, we need to fill it back with something else. So this is a perfect moment to add intention because we're so focused, you know, on our mat and releasing that like why not put intention here? Why not start to teach ourselves our worth, create more empowerment and embodiment through this perfect blend of mind, body, and then spirit. So that's sort of the impetus for how I started Aranda and then just developed products and the whole thing just kind of came together. And it's been uh a work in progress and it's really fun. And there's been moments that have been hard. And um, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:05

And I I understand that you you were doing a podcast, is that right? So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

So part of that um building self-worth through intention and mindfulness, I think it's really important to talk about our journeys and the tools that can help us along the way. And um I've been through a few pretty hard seasons um in my life. And I just want to really focus on um how we can build self-worth and recognize, recognize that maybe we don't have it all together. And maybe we do need to feel a little more value of self and love for self. And so I am working on putting that together.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

Great. Okay. Before we we go, um be ashamed to go because I feel very relaxed. Oh good. And you've been a wonderful guest. Um is there a a good way to sort of reset mentally every day?

SPEAKER_00 21:17

Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

What would be a a a trick to help oneself reset mentally? I mean, would it be the breath work that you talked about earlier, or is there anything else that one could do?

SPEAKER_00 21:30

I think that's the easiest because it's with you at all times. So I think if I was gonna make a recommendation, I would for everyone, I would say find your breath.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

And imagine, and then I think bring in visualization.

SPEAKER_03 21:47

Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Like close your eyes, find your breath, feel where you're tight in your body. A lot of times it's in your chest or your sort of what feels like your heart or your throat. You can kind of visualize how it feels tight and contracted. Now breathe and start to imagine the breath going into the musculature, the energy of the body, and feel how that starts to open and expand that area. And then just keep using that slow breath and the different counts and feeling the breath really just come from kind of your toes up through the top of your head, holding it and exhaling out. So I think that would be my general plan for everyone.

SPEAKER_03 22:42

Is there one thing you wish people knew about or have got down here? One thing you wish more people understood about self-worth?

SPEAKER_00 22:53

I think there are layers to self-worth. I think a lot of people may just well, I'd say people may describe themselves as I I totally know I'm worthy, like I've got this. I'm do this or I can do that. But take that down, peel back the layers. Are you working from a place of and I don't mean to sound um condescending, but ego? Because we ego lives within all of us and ego drives all of us to some level. So where is that coming from? And how can you break it down and just know without all the things and all the accomplishments, do you feel worth? Do you feel worthy? Do you feel love? Just being here without any of it. And that that is a practice. And that is, I think I think throughout our lifetime, each of us will be learning a different lesson in that.

SPEAKER_03 23:58

When you talk about, when you talk about self-worth, do you mean self-confidence? Is that the same thing or is it very different?

SPEAKER_00 24:05

That's a great question. I believe that some people mask with confidence on the external, but in the internal, there is a worth piece lacking, and that's that ego, that tricky little ego that can get in there. So I do think some people have that self-confidence because they are really worthy and they're unshakable in their knowing of who they are and what they're here to do. That is the self-worth. And that is a peace, that's peace in that. If you can, if you can sustain that, you've got it. But I think there are moments in life that knock us out and have us go, whoa, well, I didn't expect that. All right, maybe I maybe I sit with that a little bit and work on that. Um so I hope that answers that question.

SPEAKER_03 24:58

Yeah. No, no, that's fine. I mean, I know at the beginning of our conversation we were trying to weave in uh the body, the mind, and the spirituality into the podcast, into a running podcast sort of thing. And I think we kind of have reached that point. So and I think it's given us something else to think about. I mean, is there anything else you feel that we as runners or recreational, I mean, that's pretty much my audience are recreational runners that maybe we could be thinking about when we are embarking on this running journey.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

Give yourself grace.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:36

I think we can put a lot of expectations upon ourselves and a lot of goals upon ourselves. And ultimately, sometimes those goals make us feel bad because maybe we've set them too high, or maybe we don't attain them. So have grace. Your desires are beautiful and wonderful, and they're in you because it's something you can do.

unknown 26:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:01

And then let it go and be in grace with how you accomplish what you're wanting to accomplish. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. This is your journey.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

This is your run. You're running for you, nobody else.

SPEAKER_03 26:17

Yeah. Yeah. Well, on that wonderful point point and wonderful note, I'd just like to say, and if you'd like to just stick around afterwards, but I'd like to say thank you very much, Julie, for coming on the podcast. You've given us a hell of a lot to think about. Um and if anything, if people want to go to the local yoga class or Pilates class, then go out and go there. So but uh I'd like to say goodbye from Julie and also goodbye from me, Brian, and I hope for you um I hope you really enjoyed this episode. Goodbye.